Sometimes what my husband thinks is plain old English leaves me baffled, hence party chicken.
This text message struck me as funny because it really illustrates the disparity in how different people communicate. For weeks, my husband kept telling me he needed new jeans, more jeans. One pair just wasn’t enough. I thought he was just making conversation, because, of course, what adult human wouldn’t just go out and buy new jeans if necessary? Finally, when he texted this to me, the thought struck me: Maybe he’s asking me to get him new jeans! If at any time during that month of this ongoing miscommunication he had said, “Honey, would you grab me some jeans the next time you’re out?” I would have said, “Sure,” and party chicken would have never existed. Well, that’s not totally true – I would have probably said, “So you want me to schlep with both kids to the store to buy you some jeans; a piece of clothing, I might add, about which you are VERY particular? Get them your damn self.” But I digress.
In any case, it got me thinking about communication between couples and how it’s not just my husband who has communication flaws. While he may say one thing and mean another, I typically don’t say anything, yet expect him to telepathically know what I want. Another thing we both do is crave the last word in any argument. (God, there are few things more satisfying in life than having the last word in an argument.)
I came across this article titled “Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s advice for success in marriage” and I was immediately intrigued. RBG, all-around lady badass, is – in my humble opinion – one of the most intelligent and eloquent women of action on the planet. Her advice on marriage could surely prove useful to anyone, I thought. And sure enough, her advice to “sometimes be a little deaf” is dead on. The article goes on to quote RGB as saying she used this advice not only in her marriage to her late husband, but it also serves her in her career as a Supreme Court Justice. Preach!
Reacting in an argument can be detrimental to any actual communicating. It may feel swell to whip out a witty retort, but I have learned the hard way that I’d rather be happy than right. (I wish my hubby would jump on that bandwagon and take one for the team once in a while, but hey…)
In marriage communication is key. In communication, silence can be golden.
And party chicken!
#marriedwithtexts 
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